It’s nearly midnight. And I’m scrolling through Pinterest looking at pictures of cakes. I’m scouring through the wedding cakes and looking at colour schemes, figuring out flower arrangements and just trying my best to figure it out.
I want to write this because one day, and I’m not meaning this presumptuously, but one day when I’m more busy than now, and by busy I mean making cakes for a living, having my own cakery, and doing the things I want to be doing right now, I don’t ever want to forget the hours of hard work put in.
I’m going to tell the truth. Even though I love doing it, I’m finding it hard and frustrating. There are so many successful cake decorators out there. They make cakes that are works of art. Like, literal sculptures. And I’m struggling with a sugar rose. I know I’m only twenty and I’ve only been doing this a year or so, but I want to be doing better.
And I don’t think anyone who is in the creative field hasn’t felt like this, because there are no labels or job positions to measure yourself by. I guess the only thing to measure yourself by, is other art. It’s easy to say that all art is different, and that you can’t compare two works against each other, but maybe you can. My fondant isn’t as smooth, my roses don’t look as life-like, and I can’t get the colours just right.
This sounds like I’m complaining. I’m not. It’s just the way I’m feeling right now. And I bet the day I finally perfect my sugar rose, I won’t be thinking this way. But right now I am, and it’s real. There are others who feel their skills aren’t good enough either. It’s normal.
Edit: It’s been a few weeks since I wrote the above and I also put my sugar rose making equipment away a couple days after writing it. I thought I’d put it out of sight so I could gain some perspective. It’s just a rose, and for so many cakes it is a focal point. But for now, I’m focusing on getting my basic skills just right. At the moment, I’m working on a polka dot cake, which is easy, but important to get it just right so it looks polished and professional.
I still scroll through Pinterest like a madwoman, but it’s important for anyone starting out in any craft that perfection cannot be achieved right away. It’s impossible. It takes hours of hard work, tears of frustration, sighs of relief and whole lot of practice and patience. So here’s to the promise of a lot of graft. We’ll get there.